In case you haven't noticed, the world got painted pink this month. This is in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Over the past few years, the month of October has gotten pinker and pinker as more people, organizations and businesses signed on to be sponsors of all things "pink". There are now so many activities and fund raising/awareness events that I really can't keep up any more. Many of them support the Susan G. Koman Foundation while others donate their earnings to the American Cancer Society. All that I know about are well intentioned and remind women (and men) to know the symptoms of breast cancer and the importance of early detection, with or without symptoms to send you scurrying to your doctor.
In recent years the type of activities used to increase awareness have gone from somber, survivor centered events to some that are more "in your face" and on the edge of good taste, as well. Today we have an event in our town called "Bras Across the Bridge" where participants will link new bras (you gotta know they are mostly PINK) across a three mile bridge that spans the Pensacola Bay. Heavily promoted on radio, TV and newspapers, it is meant to bring a lighter note to the serious side of breast cancer as well as to collect bras for needy women in the community.
A few weeks ago I was a guest speaker for an event honoring breast cancer survivors and promoting the local version of Making Strides Against Breast Cancer, a mall to mall walk raising funds for the American Cancer Society programs that assist breast cancer patients with much needed services. It is a great program and the walk just gets more and more participants each year. During this year's survivor event, a group of women sponsored a "fashion show" of bras, mostly very heavily decorated with sequins, feathers and lots of bling. They came out to loud music, strutting their stuff and it was mostly met with hilarious laughter since some of the models were men who were good sports about wearing the gaudy bras on the outside of their clothing. I would say almost without exception that the fashion show was deemed a hit and the vast majority of the audience laughed their way through the two dozen or more entrants who danced and pranced their way across the stage.
However, I must add that one lady came up to me during the fashion show to express her dismay and horror at the trivializing nature of the fashion show and the minimizing (in her eyes) of the seriousness of breast cancer. You see, she was diagnosed with breast cancer not quite a year ago and is still in the midst of her treatment. She has had about six different surgical procedures and numerous staph infections. In an almost apologetic tone, she explained that what she was seeing (while well intentioned) was not funny to her. Her exact words to me were, "Maybe I am just too close to it, but there is nothing funny about breast cancer."
As a twenty-one year survivor of breast cancer myself, I had to agree with her. There is NOTHING funny about it, no matter how you look at it. Yes, you do have to have a sense of humor when you're going through treatment and being able to laugh again is an important part of healing; however, when you are in the midst of a battle for your life and have had nothing but one set back after another, see no good news ahead of you and are not yet feeling hopeful about your future, the last think you need is for someone to try to tell you how "funny" this all is. 'Cause it's not.
So with a note of thanks to the those who want to advocate for awareness of breast cancer (or any other kind for that matter), please keep in mind that many people are still in the midst of their treatment and may have a hard time seeing the humor in their situation. And many thousands of people will succumb to their illness, in spite of advanced treatment available today. It does not respect your gender, social status or sheer determination to overcome the odds against you. It is a biological process gone awry, not a demon or a "boogey-man" out to get you. And when you are fighting for your life it doesn't quite feel right to see people trivializing this disease, no matter how well intentioned they are.
The next time you see a bumper sticker that says, "Save the Ta Tas" or a three mile line of bras linked together, just remember that breast cancer is a deadly serious matter to some people and when you try to make light of it or reduce it to silliness, you might give some people a good laugh. However, you should also remember that there is the possibility you'll hurt feelings or make someone who is having a hard time with their disease feel worse or even guilty that they fail to see what's so funny about it. No one is suggesting that October needs to be a month of gloom and doom when making people aware of breast cancer but we do need to make sure we balance the light hearted fun with a keen awareness of those who are in the midst of their battle and who need our compassion and understanding to get them through their ordeal. Some time in the future when THEIR future is less murky and uncertain, they might be ready to join you in the laughter, but for now let's give them dignity and respect for the very real fear and threat they feel.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Live, Laugh and Love!
We had the opportunity this weekend to apply this simple prescription to help find the Good Life: Live, Laugh and Love. It almost sounds too simplistic to be of real value but there is much truth in its plain, unvarnished approach to finding happiness. How often do we hold ourselves back from truly engaging in fun and games with our family and friends and then wonder why we don't have strong bonds with them? This weekend we had a good old fashioned backyard bar-b-que and then played a silly but fun game that had all of us laughing and competing fiercely for bragging rights.
It has been quite some time since Larry and I have had the opportunity to spend an extended amount of time with his sisters. So recently when his oldest sister indicated she wanted to come from Arkansas for a visit , we quickly hatched up a family get together that included his younger sister, Amy from Opp, AL, Larry's Mom and her husband, Jack, two cousins from Helena, MS and a niece, Tori, from Panama City, FL. Unfortunately Larry's sister, Lisa, could not join us due to a new job but she was invited and was with us in spirit, if not physically! Our intention was to spend some time with the sisters initially and have the bar-b-que on Saturday that included the other family members who drove over here for the day.
So we spent the first part of the visit with Linda and her grand daughter, Carlie, just catching up on life and all the things we have missed talking about for the past few years. It was good to relax with a cup of coffee and just talk about nothing in particular and everything in general to reconnect our lives again. Then Amy and her daughter, Cayla, joined us on Thursday evening. We ate supper together and just had a grand time being a family. It felt good to catch up on all the things everyone has been doing lately and how their jobs were going and to take a trip down Memory Lane talking about the "good ole days". It was not earth shattering, important news but significant, never-the-less, just to feel the connections and bonds that tie us together.
When the other family members joined us on Saturday we pulled out the bar-b-que grill, seared some hamburgers and enjoyed the simple fare of a backyard bar-b-que. Tommie and Rayner (the cousins) brought more cold drinks, chips and a huge four flavored cheese cake to add to the table. So we all ate plenty of burgers and beans and sat in our backyard enjoying the wonderful October weather we typically have here in Northwest Florida. The skies were blue, not a cloud in the sky and a gentle breeze held the 80 something degree day in check from being too hot. It was as if we had ordered the day from the "perfect day" check list.
Later that night we gathered around a table in the living room and played a highly competitive version of the game, Taboo. If you've not played this one, you should give it a try. The object is to get your partner to say a certain word or phrase without using any of the forbidden words on a short list below the word or phrase you're attempting to convey to your partner. It is much harder than it sounds! However, it IS a lot of fun and I assure you that, in spite of the competition going on, we all were laughing at least as much as we were plotting to win! It also activates some brain cells that may have gone unused for a while. And the endorphins released from all the laughter and good natured ribbing going on had us all in a very good mood!
At some point during the evening as the night wore on, I got a whiff of something cooking, wondered what it was and almost said something but was involved in the game and didn't say anything. Pretty soon, Larry came waltzing into the room with a paper plate covered up in Turtle Flavored Chocolate Chip cookies, hot from the oven and filling the whole room with the amazing smell so unique to hot cookies. It was the first thing that had diverted our attention from the game all evening! It didn't take us long to empty the platter and call for a refill which Larry happily did, much to our delight.
Finally, when we literally were propping our eyes open to keep ourselves awake, we decided to declare the evening over and the cousins departed for Mississippi and the rest of us all collapsed in our beds. We slept soundly until the next morning when I distinctly heard someone say, "Hi, Sam!" and then, amazingly enough, I heard Sam's voice answer back. Turned out that Linda was Skyping with her son who is in the Air Force and finishing up his assignment to South Korea, hoping to depart for the US in mid-November. We all took turns talking to him and were happy for the chance to see him and know he is doing well but eager to come home. It was a great way to end our family together.
Even as the call with Sam was ending, several of the family members who had spent the night with us were packing up their bags and loading their cars, ready to depart for home. With hugs and kisses, and declarations that we must do this again, pretty soon our house was quiet as one by one, they pulled out of our driveway. As I reflected over the time we had spent together for the four days, my eyes fell on a plaque that is hanging over my back door. It reads: Live Well, Love Much and Laugh Often. I could not help but think we had done just that these past few days. And I couldn't help noticing how good it felt to reconnect with family and realize that it is those connections that help us stay strong and able to make our way through the world.
The simple fact is that the world is not always kind to us. Life can be really challenging and difficult at times. With the love and laughter (and sometimes tears) shared with our family, we can get strength and courage to face almost anything that comes our way. If you have lost those connections with your family and even some dear friends, I urge you to give the simple philosophy of Live, Love and Laugh a try. It really can refresh you and make you realize that your Good Life is within your grasp. But you do have to reach out to get it. Make the effort. It's worth it.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
It has been quite some time since Larry and I have had the opportunity to spend an extended amount of time with his sisters. So recently when his oldest sister indicated she wanted to come from Arkansas for a visit , we quickly hatched up a family get together that included his younger sister, Amy from Opp, AL, Larry's Mom and her husband, Jack, two cousins from Helena, MS and a niece, Tori, from Panama City, FL. Unfortunately Larry's sister, Lisa, could not join us due to a new job but she was invited and was with us in spirit, if not physically! Our intention was to spend some time with the sisters initially and have the bar-b-que on Saturday that included the other family members who drove over here for the day.
So we spent the first part of the visit with Linda and her grand daughter, Carlie, just catching up on life and all the things we have missed talking about for the past few years. It was good to relax with a cup of coffee and just talk about nothing in particular and everything in general to reconnect our lives again. Then Amy and her daughter, Cayla, joined us on Thursday evening. We ate supper together and just had a grand time being a family. It felt good to catch up on all the things everyone has been doing lately and how their jobs were going and to take a trip down Memory Lane talking about the "good ole days". It was not earth shattering, important news but significant, never-the-less, just to feel the connections and bonds that tie us together.
When the other family members joined us on Saturday we pulled out the bar-b-que grill, seared some hamburgers and enjoyed the simple fare of a backyard bar-b-que. Tommie and Rayner (the cousins) brought more cold drinks, chips and a huge four flavored cheese cake to add to the table. So we all ate plenty of burgers and beans and sat in our backyard enjoying the wonderful October weather we typically have here in Northwest Florida. The skies were blue, not a cloud in the sky and a gentle breeze held the 80 something degree day in check from being too hot. It was as if we had ordered the day from the "perfect day" check list.
Later that night we gathered around a table in the living room and played a highly competitive version of the game, Taboo. If you've not played this one, you should give it a try. The object is to get your partner to say a certain word or phrase without using any of the forbidden words on a short list below the word or phrase you're attempting to convey to your partner. It is much harder than it sounds! However, it IS a lot of fun and I assure you that, in spite of the competition going on, we all were laughing at least as much as we were plotting to win! It also activates some brain cells that may have gone unused for a while. And the endorphins released from all the laughter and good natured ribbing going on had us all in a very good mood!
At some point during the evening as the night wore on, I got a whiff of something cooking, wondered what it was and almost said something but was involved in the game and didn't say anything. Pretty soon, Larry came waltzing into the room with a paper plate covered up in Turtle Flavored Chocolate Chip cookies, hot from the oven and filling the whole room with the amazing smell so unique to hot cookies. It was the first thing that had diverted our attention from the game all evening! It didn't take us long to empty the platter and call for a refill which Larry happily did, much to our delight.
Finally, when we literally were propping our eyes open to keep ourselves awake, we decided to declare the evening over and the cousins departed for Mississippi and the rest of us all collapsed in our beds. We slept soundly until the next morning when I distinctly heard someone say, "Hi, Sam!" and then, amazingly enough, I heard Sam's voice answer back. Turned out that Linda was Skyping with her son who is in the Air Force and finishing up his assignment to South Korea, hoping to depart for the US in mid-November. We all took turns talking to him and were happy for the chance to see him and know he is doing well but eager to come home. It was a great way to end our family together.
Even as the call with Sam was ending, several of the family members who had spent the night with us were packing up their bags and loading their cars, ready to depart for home. With hugs and kisses, and declarations that we must do this again, pretty soon our house was quiet as one by one, they pulled out of our driveway. As I reflected over the time we had spent together for the four days, my eyes fell on a plaque that is hanging over my back door. It reads: Live Well, Love Much and Laugh Often. I could not help but think we had done just that these past few days. And I couldn't help noticing how good it felt to reconnect with family and realize that it is those connections that help us stay strong and able to make our way through the world.
The simple fact is that the world is not always kind to us. Life can be really challenging and difficult at times. With the love and laughter (and sometimes tears) shared with our family, we can get strength and courage to face almost anything that comes our way. If you have lost those connections with your family and even some dear friends, I urge you to give the simple philosophy of Live, Love and Laugh a try. It really can refresh you and make you realize that your Good Life is within your grasp. But you do have to reach out to get it. Make the effort. It's worth it.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Welcome Fall!
Larry and I have spent the past week at a campground near home working on our camper and just hanging out. We have a camping excursion planned for later this month with Brian, April and the three grandkids in Gulf Shores, Alabama and we are getting our travel trailer ready for our first camping trip with the kids in the new camper. Gulf Shores is a little less than an hour's drive from home and we'll be camping in Gulf State Park. It has recently been rebuilt after Hurricane Katrina sort of re-arranged the pines and picnic tables in 2005. Unfortunately, that area catches a lot of bad weather and since it's near the Gulf of Mexico is a prime target for Mother Nature's wrath.
When we woke up this morning the first thing we noticed was how cool it was. My nose was really, really cold. In a dog, that's a good thing. For humans, not so good. So Larry got up while I pulled the wubie up around my nose and he found the small, ceramic heater we have for cold snaps. They are safe and, in fact, probably safer than turning on the propane heater in the camper. In pretty short order the little heater did what it was supposed to do and got the place heated up nicely. Shortly after that the familiar beep, beep, beep, beep, beep of the coffee pot let us know that our favorite morning brew was ready for us to drink! So life was good!
Having a true Fall/Autumn in the deep south is a "some time" thing. Some times we get it, some times we don't. We who have lived here for most of our lives can remember going trick or treating at Halloween with shorts and tee shirts on under our costumes. We would be lucky if our chocolate candy survived the heat back to the house where we dumped the plastic pumpkin to ooo and ahhh over our treasure. Daddy usually came in to "inspect" our loot and frequently offered to take some of the choicer pieces off of our hands.
Thanksgiving is another holiday that we have been known to celebrate with the windows flung wide open or even cranking the thermostat down to a lower notch so the masses huddled around the groaning table don't perish from the heat. I have spent more than one Christmas trying out a new bicycle or skates in summer clothes, all the while hoping and praying for just one teeny-tiny flake of snow. Never happened. Well, I guess I could concede that one Christmas in 1993 when we had a Family Gathering planned at Pensacola Beach, we did get a tiny smattering of big, fat, wet snow flakes on our trek down to the beach. And it did turn very, very cold on Christmas Eve. The snow was gone before we got to the beach, however, melting the instant it touched the ground.
So having a real cold snap, colorful leaves, the smell of a fireplace puffing an announcement all over the neighborhood that the Gaineys are having the first fire of the season and a hot, steaming cup of cider are cause for real celebration in these parts. When we get to experience REAL fall we send up a loud hosanna! The crisp air, the bluer than blue skies, the faint rustling of leaves are the first inkling we get that the seasons are getting ready to change. They are so rare and yet so welcome. It's enough to make you hug yourself with joy! In fact, I think I saw two squirrels doing a happy dance this morning as they were busily burying acorns in places they are sure to forget later this winter.
I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but as you read this, I hope you're having the signs of fall/autumn all around you. (I realize that for people in the Southern Hemisphere that your seasons are reversed from ours, so just go with me here!) Drink in the beauty that is there and let it refresh your soul. Our calendar year is winding down, but then some of our biggest celebrations are fast approaching. So while the life cycle is ending for many things, the time of joy will be here, too. It really is a bitter-sweet time of year. Take the time to appreciate the regularity of the seasons and all that they offer. I know that this year we're really going to have a fall and I am just so glad to be here to enjoy it! I hope you enjoy it, too.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
When we woke up this morning the first thing we noticed was how cool it was. My nose was really, really cold. In a dog, that's a good thing. For humans, not so good. So Larry got up while I pulled the wubie up around my nose and he found the small, ceramic heater we have for cold snaps. They are safe and, in fact, probably safer than turning on the propane heater in the camper. In pretty short order the little heater did what it was supposed to do and got the place heated up nicely. Shortly after that the familiar beep, beep, beep, beep, beep of the coffee pot let us know that our favorite morning brew was ready for us to drink! So life was good!
Having a true Fall/Autumn in the deep south is a "some time" thing. Some times we get it, some times we don't. We who have lived here for most of our lives can remember going trick or treating at Halloween with shorts and tee shirts on under our costumes. We would be lucky if our chocolate candy survived the heat back to the house where we dumped the plastic pumpkin to ooo and ahhh over our treasure. Daddy usually came in to "inspect" our loot and frequently offered to take some of the choicer pieces off of our hands.
Thanksgiving is another holiday that we have been known to celebrate with the windows flung wide open or even cranking the thermostat down to a lower notch so the masses huddled around the groaning table don't perish from the heat. I have spent more than one Christmas trying out a new bicycle or skates in summer clothes, all the while hoping and praying for just one teeny-tiny flake of snow. Never happened. Well, I guess I could concede that one Christmas in 1993 when we had a Family Gathering planned at Pensacola Beach, we did get a tiny smattering of big, fat, wet snow flakes on our trek down to the beach. And it did turn very, very cold on Christmas Eve. The snow was gone before we got to the beach, however, melting the instant it touched the ground.
So having a real cold snap, colorful leaves, the smell of a fireplace puffing an announcement all over the neighborhood that the Gaineys are having the first fire of the season and a hot, steaming cup of cider are cause for real celebration in these parts. When we get to experience REAL fall we send up a loud hosanna! The crisp air, the bluer than blue skies, the faint rustling of leaves are the first inkling we get that the seasons are getting ready to change. They are so rare and yet so welcome. It's enough to make you hug yourself with joy! In fact, I think I saw two squirrels doing a happy dance this morning as they were busily burying acorns in places they are sure to forget later this winter.
I don't know what the weather is like where you are, but as you read this, I hope you're having the signs of fall/autumn all around you. (I realize that for people in the Southern Hemisphere that your seasons are reversed from ours, so just go with me here!) Drink in the beauty that is there and let it refresh your soul. Our calendar year is winding down, but then some of our biggest celebrations are fast approaching. So while the life cycle is ending for many things, the time of joy will be here, too. It really is a bitter-sweet time of year. Take the time to appreciate the regularity of the seasons and all that they offer. I know that this year we're really going to have a fall and I am just so glad to be here to enjoy it! I hope you enjoy it, too.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Friday, September 30, 2011
He Found the Good Life
He was a good looking devil. Tall, dark and handsome. His dark eyes had a twinkle and looked merry when he was smiling. He was one of the smartest men I have ever known. It has been forty-four years since I've seen him. Gone too soon, he died when he was only 51.
He had numerous hobbies over the years, including photography, bowling, boat building and fishing. I think his first boat was a small skiff he built in the 1940s which served as a warm up for his bigger project, The Claudia, that he built in our backyard in 1959. She was a beauty, too. It was a 20' cabin cruiser and truly was his pride and joy. And it was a labor of love. Love for the open water, love for the wind in his hair, love for life on the Gulf of Mexico.
Sometimes I think about the tragedy of his death at 51 and feel great sadness that he never knew my husband, Larry, and his grandson, Brian. He never knew the three grandchildren that are the light of my life. He missed so much and we missed having him be a part of all that has happened since he died in 1967. However, in thinking of him today, I am reminded of all that was good in his life, especially right before he died.
Two years before he died, he had made a very courageous decision to leave his position with a large firm and move our family back to Mississippi. He had moved us TO Texas to continue his work in a bigger office, larger territory and most importantly to save money for his dream. He and mama together worked like crazy saving money the whole time we were in Texas. Ginny, my younger sister, and I knew little about all those plans, we just knew that we were fast becoming Texans and really loving living in a much larger city and all the things that living in a big, bad city means.
Ginny and I were stunned to learn about all of this and cried more than once thinking about leaving the big city and moving back to what we thought was "Hicksville". But move we did. They loaded up a U-Haul van and put all of our worldly goods inside and trucked it back to Mississippi with two teen age girls sniffling and sobbing most of the way.
I tell you all of this as a way of introducing the idea of making courageous, although perhaps unpopular decisions when the opportunity comes your way. Daddy had a goal for himself and for his family. He wanted a different way of life that included lots of time for fishing and just communing with nature. He had figured out a way to spend half of his month working and the other half fishing and doing what he called, "going down to see the bacon slicer". That meant just hanging out with good friends down at Tucei's Fish Camp, chewing the fat and solving the world's problems.
And he did just that. He opened his own business and mama went back to school. Ginny and I enrolled in the local Junior and Senior High Schools and somehow managed to make friends and adjust to our new life. I think it usually works out that way, but try telling that to two crestfallen teen age girls. Daddy's business grew quickly and pretty soon he was able to do exactly as he planned it. He worked for two weeks and then it was his time for two weeks. He had found his good life.
The good life for him meant lots of time to take out the boat, to fish or just to take a good book and bob and float on the water, catching the fresh breeze and the sun's golden rays. He could take a bologna sandwich, a bag of chips and some Jax beer and he was in heaven. And that is exactly how he spent his last two years of his life. Working, taking care of his family and then pursuing his heart's desire. It was a great two years and it makes me happy to know that the last two years of his life were to his liking and were of his design.
He had no way to know when he fell ill that Saturday in November 1967, while hunting for drift wood with his brother and sister-in-law that it would be his last outing. He had no way to know his life was coming to an end in eight short days. And I could make the focus of this story the tragedy that befell him --- but I won't. I will ever so slightly shift the focus back to the important message this story will convey, I hope.
When life gives you opportunity to do things that matter to you; when you are given the chance to make profound changes in your life; when you can take a leap of faith to a newer path, sometimes you just need to go for it. Daddy saw his chances and worked for two years to put the pieces in place to make the move and then was rewarded with two great years to enjoy the things that were most pleasing to him.
Daddy was the smartest man I ever knew. He had laughing eyes that crinkled when he laughed and he laughed frequently. He took chances that I didn't understand at the time, but am beginning to comprehend now that I am all grown up myself. A saying I often heard him repeat was to never "wish your life away". Don't pine for the things that you hope happen some day. Make them happen and find your peace living out your dreams. The good life was his and all because he found the nerve, the courage to do what some would have called foolish. I am so glad it was his to find and live. Thanks for that lesson, Daddy. Oh, and if you're wondering, I do still miss him and his laughing eyes.
 |
| Charles Benjamin Treadway |
I am, of course, talking about my daddy. He was the guy who could do almost anything he ever set out to do. He was a self made man and learned nearly everything he knew by reading, reading some more and listening to others who had something interesting to say. I saw him take a random book from the set of World Book Encyclopedias to bed as reading material to pass the time until he fell asleep many nights. His trips to the library meant bringing home whatever the limit was that the library imposed. He could and often did clean out the shelf about the Civil War if allowed to check out that many books. He had numerous hobbies over the years, including photography, bowling, boat building and fishing. I think his first boat was a small skiff he built in the 1940s which served as a warm up for his bigger project, The Claudia, that he built in our backyard in 1959. She was a beauty, too. It was a 20' cabin cruiser and truly was his pride and joy. And it was a labor of love. Love for the open water, love for the wind in his hair, love for life on the Gulf of Mexico.
Sometimes I think about the tragedy of his death at 51 and feel great sadness that he never knew my husband, Larry, and his grandson, Brian. He never knew the three grandchildren that are the light of my life. He missed so much and we missed having him be a part of all that has happened since he died in 1967. However, in thinking of him today, I am reminded of all that was good in his life, especially right before he died.
Two years before he died, he had made a very courageous decision to leave his position with a large firm and move our family back to Mississippi. He had moved us TO Texas to continue his work in a bigger office, larger territory and most importantly to save money for his dream. He and mama together worked like crazy saving money the whole time we were in Texas. Ginny, my younger sister, and I knew little about all those plans, we just knew that we were fast becoming Texans and really loving living in a much larger city and all the things that living in a big, bad city means.
Ginny & Marcia (back row)
Claudia & Charles Treadway
1964
We got a big shock when Daddy and Mama announced to us near the end of school in 1965 that we were moving back to Mississippi, but not to Jackson where we had lived before. We were going to live on the Gulf Coast in the tiny town called Gautier, near Pascagoula. Our family owned a small house on Mary Walker Bayou and we were going to live there while Daddy opened his own pest control business. Mama was going to enroll in the local Junior College and complete courses that would enable her to become a registered nurse. It was a big step that took a lot of guts to pull off. Daddy had a very respectable, well paid job and a future that was secure. Mama had already finished her schooling to become a Licensed Vocational Nurse, so she was gainfully employed, too. Things were looking very good for all of us. But something different was calling Daddy and he felt he had to take the chance while he could. Ginny and I were stunned to learn about all of this and cried more than once thinking about leaving the big city and moving back to what we thought was "Hicksville". But move we did. They loaded up a U-Haul van and put all of our worldly goods inside and trucked it back to Mississippi with two teen age girls sniffling and sobbing most of the way.
I tell you all of this as a way of introducing the idea of making courageous, although perhaps unpopular decisions when the opportunity comes your way. Daddy had a goal for himself and for his family. He wanted a different way of life that included lots of time for fishing and just communing with nature. He had figured out a way to spend half of his month working and the other half fishing and doing what he called, "going down to see the bacon slicer". That meant just hanging out with good friends down at Tucei's Fish Camp, chewing the fat and solving the world's problems.
And he did just that. He opened his own business and mama went back to school. Ginny and I enrolled in the local Junior and Senior High Schools and somehow managed to make friends and adjust to our new life. I think it usually works out that way, but try telling that to two crestfallen teen age girls. Daddy's business grew quickly and pretty soon he was able to do exactly as he planned it. He worked for two weeks and then it was his time for two weeks. He had found his good life.
The good life for him meant lots of time to take out the boat, to fish or just to take a good book and bob and float on the water, catching the fresh breeze and the sun's golden rays. He could take a bologna sandwich, a bag of chips and some Jax beer and he was in heaven. And that is exactly how he spent his last two years of his life. Working, taking care of his family and then pursuing his heart's desire. It was a great two years and it makes me happy to know that the last two years of his life were to his liking and were of his design.
He had no way to know when he fell ill that Saturday in November 1967, while hunting for drift wood with his brother and sister-in-law that it would be his last outing. He had no way to know his life was coming to an end in eight short days. And I could make the focus of this story the tragedy that befell him --- but I won't. I will ever so slightly shift the focus back to the important message this story will convey, I hope.
When life gives you opportunity to do things that matter to you; when you are given the chance to make profound changes in your life; when you can take a leap of faith to a newer path, sometimes you just need to go for it. Daddy saw his chances and worked for two years to put the pieces in place to make the move and then was rewarded with two great years to enjoy the things that were most pleasing to him.
Daddy was the smartest man I ever knew. He had laughing eyes that crinkled when he laughed and he laughed frequently. He took chances that I didn't understand at the time, but am beginning to comprehend now that I am all grown up myself. A saying I often heard him repeat was to never "wish your life away". Don't pine for the things that you hope happen some day. Make them happen and find your peace living out your dreams. The good life was his and all because he found the nerve, the courage to do what some would have called foolish. I am so glad it was his to find and live. Thanks for that lesson, Daddy. Oh, and if you're wondering, I do still miss him and his laughing eyes.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Learning to Adapt and Make It Work
Larry and I are spending a few days in our camper doing some updates and modifications to it in anticipation of a camping trip next month with our son, Brian, and his family. We have not taken the kids out in this camper so we are working on making things as comfortable and cozy as you can make a 32' RV with 4 bunk beds in the back and a bedroom up front. The kids are going to love it and we're working on things that will make it fun for the grown ups!
Life in a camper for those of you who have never experienced living in one is, shall we say, interesting and challenging. For one thing, it's pretty small and there is not much space to store things. That will be one of the things we work on during this week--storage. The small part is pretty much a done deal. ;-) A second characteristic of most campers is that they are not equipped like a brick and stick home. A primary reason for that can be answered by reviewing the first thing I mentioned. You just can't have all the gadgets and household items that you have back at your residence. There simply is not enough space for such luxuries like a full set of pots and pans or all the kitchen paraphernalia most of us have acquired. The stoves in campers also tend to be on the miniature side and many only have three burners, so cooking a full meal takes planning and patience.
Tonight when I was preparing our evening meal I faced the usual challenges that are part and parcel of the camper experience. I had to figure out what items to cook first, on which burner and in the proper order to get it all done at approximately the same time. I was handling it all nicely and had not hit a snag until I realized that I had a boiler of bow tie pasta going full blast on the stove and it dawned on me that I didn't have a colander. Without missing a beat, I remembered the pot with tiny holes in the bottom---a steamer pot---that was in the lower cabinet. It would work perfectly to let the boiling water go down the drain while the pasta was securely held in the little pot. Problem solved!
How many times in our lives are we faced with this kind of problem? Sometimes we are quick on our feet and come to a solution without too much angst. Other times we struggle to figure it out and waste precious time fretting over the WHY OH WHY of it all. We get so wedded to the idea that there is one way---and one way only---to get something done that we can't even imagine that there may be another solution.
There is a story/joke that goes something like this: A young bride is attempting to cook her first ham. She gets out the ham, a sharp knife and proceeds to cut off the end of the ham and then puts it in the roasting pan. She goes to her mother and says, "Mom, why do we cut the end off of the ham before we cook it." Her mother says, "I don't know, but it's the way we've always done it. Go ask your grandmother." Grandmother tells her the same thing. "It's the way we've always done it. Go ask your great grandmother. Maybe she knows." Great grandmother patiently tells the bride, "My child, the reason I started cutting the end off of the ham is because it was too big for the pan I had, so I cut it to make it fit."
So for years and years all the brides in that family had dutifully cut the end off of the ham without realizing that the only reason it was done the first time was to make it fit the pan. Nothing else. So what are you doing in your life because it's the way you've always done it? And what do you do when you can't do it the way you've always done it? Do you panic, get angry or upset? Or do you set about trying to figure out another way?
Life is pretty good about throwing us some curves. We all need to get into the habit of adapting to change and challenge in our life because you can be sure that changes and challenges are inevitable. Once you know that----really know it and accept it---figuring out what to do next will be pretty easy. You can adapt and you can make it work. Try it some time and see how good it makes you feel to find the answer for yourself.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Just another farm hand---figuring it out as I go!
Life in a camper for those of you who have never experienced living in one is, shall we say, interesting and challenging. For one thing, it's pretty small and there is not much space to store things. That will be one of the things we work on during this week--storage. The small part is pretty much a done deal. ;-) A second characteristic of most campers is that they are not equipped like a brick and stick home. A primary reason for that can be answered by reviewing the first thing I mentioned. You just can't have all the gadgets and household items that you have back at your residence. There simply is not enough space for such luxuries like a full set of pots and pans or all the kitchen paraphernalia most of us have acquired. The stoves in campers also tend to be on the miniature side and many only have three burners, so cooking a full meal takes planning and patience.
See? I wasn't kidding about the kitchen being small!
Tonight when I was preparing our evening meal I faced the usual challenges that are part and parcel of the camper experience. I had to figure out what items to cook first, on which burner and in the proper order to get it all done at approximately the same time. I was handling it all nicely and had not hit a snag until I realized that I had a boiler of bow tie pasta going full blast on the stove and it dawned on me that I didn't have a colander. Without missing a beat, I remembered the pot with tiny holes in the bottom---a steamer pot---that was in the lower cabinet. It would work perfectly to let the boiling water go down the drain while the pasta was securely held in the little pot. Problem solved!
How many times in our lives are we faced with this kind of problem? Sometimes we are quick on our feet and come to a solution without too much angst. Other times we struggle to figure it out and waste precious time fretting over the WHY OH WHY of it all. We get so wedded to the idea that there is one way---and one way only---to get something done that we can't even imagine that there may be another solution.
There is a story/joke that goes something like this: A young bride is attempting to cook her first ham. She gets out the ham, a sharp knife and proceeds to cut off the end of the ham and then puts it in the roasting pan. She goes to her mother and says, "Mom, why do we cut the end off of the ham before we cook it." Her mother says, "I don't know, but it's the way we've always done it. Go ask your grandmother." Grandmother tells her the same thing. "It's the way we've always done it. Go ask your great grandmother. Maybe she knows." Great grandmother patiently tells the bride, "My child, the reason I started cutting the end off of the ham is because it was too big for the pan I had, so I cut it to make it fit."
So for years and years all the brides in that family had dutifully cut the end off of the ham without realizing that the only reason it was done the first time was to make it fit the pan. Nothing else. So what are you doing in your life because it's the way you've always done it? And what do you do when you can't do it the way you've always done it? Do you panic, get angry or upset? Or do you set about trying to figure out another way?
Life is pretty good about throwing us some curves. We all need to get into the habit of adapting to change and challenge in our life because you can be sure that changes and challenges are inevitable. Once you know that----really know it and accept it---figuring out what to do next will be pretty easy. You can adapt and you can make it work. Try it some time and see how good it makes you feel to find the answer for yourself.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Just another farm hand---figuring it out as I go!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Stretching Out of Your Comfort Zone
I have a small card that I kept by my desk when I was working that said simply: " Do one thing every day that scares you." Now I truly do not believe that that is meant to encourage one to go walk the high wire like the Flying Wallendas, unless that is your secret heart's desire. Nor do I think it is exhorting you to do something stupid, like ride down the highway on a motorcycle, sans helmet and other safety equipment. Granted both of those things would scare the daylights out of me; however, I think there is something a lot more fundamental in that short, direct statement. And that is to push yourself out of your comfort zone.
We all have a place where we are most comfortable whether we're talking about where we live, what we eat or what we do with our time. Opportunities present themselves from time to time for us to move just a wee bit out of that zone and sometimes we opt in---other times we opt out of that opportunity to do something new and exciting. Recently on a cruise with our son and his family, we were eating in the ship's dining room. April (my DIL) had specifically requested that all the children (ages 7 -13) only be given the regular menu and not the children's menu. Her rationale was that they would have healthier selections and it would give them the experience of eating from a more sophisticated menu.
So the kids were studying the menu and Ben (age 10) announced that he would like to start his meal with some smoked duck, one of the appetizers. I took advantage of this offering, too. When the plates were brought to the table, the presentation was lovely and the food was very appealing. Ben immediately began eating it and after eating every morsel on the plate proudly announced, "That was the best duck I have ever eaten!" We all got a good laugh since we figured it most likely was the only duck he had ever eaten.
In moving out of your comfort zone, you may be required to try something way out of that zone. Opportunities sometimes present themselves in the most unexpected ways. Maybe you will have the chance to lead a group or do some public speaking. It so happens that public speaking is very high on the list of things that literally scare some people half to death. Or maybe it's performing that is on your list of things you'd like to do but are holding back because of that old demon, Self Doubt and his twin brother, Fraidy Cat. You just have to remember that even the Super Stars all had to start somewhere and they probably were not great when they started, but they all had potential to be great. Now, no one is promising you that you'll be the next mega star known to one and all across the planet but how will you ever know what you have in you until you give it a go?
And finally, one last word about moving from your comfort zone. Is there something in your life that you KNOW you should be doing but are procrastinating about doing? Some of these "really must dos" are secrets, known only to you and perhaps your maker. It is that little nagging voice in your head that is pushing you to take care of something but you are resisting it and struggling to contain it in a corner of your mind. Or maybe it is a dream, a wish and hope that you'll do something that matters---leave your mark upon the world, but you are waiting for the right time, the right place, for the mood to strike you.
Whatever it is that you think you're meant to be doing or longing to do, keep in mind that time is a fleeting thing. Once it trickles down through that hourglass, it won't be going back the other way. When opportunity presents itself to do something different, make another choice, try a new path, think about that hour glass and how stealthily and quickly those sands slip on through the glass. If you're waiting for the perfect time, the best moment, chances are pretty good it is right now. Stretch yourself and reach for the stars: they really are waiting for you and want you to succeed.
We all have a place where we are most comfortable whether we're talking about where we live, what we eat or what we do with our time. Opportunities present themselves from time to time for us to move just a wee bit out of that zone and sometimes we opt in---other times we opt out of that opportunity to do something new and exciting. Recently on a cruise with our son and his family, we were eating in the ship's dining room. April (my DIL) had specifically requested that all the children (ages 7 -13) only be given the regular menu and not the children's menu. Her rationale was that they would have healthier selections and it would give them the experience of eating from a more sophisticated menu.
So the kids were studying the menu and Ben (age 10) announced that he would like to start his meal with some smoked duck, one of the appetizers. I took advantage of this offering, too. When the plates were brought to the table, the presentation was lovely and the food was very appealing. Ben immediately began eating it and after eating every morsel on the plate proudly announced, "That was the best duck I have ever eaten!" We all got a good laugh since we figured it most likely was the only duck he had ever eaten.
Smoked Duck Appetizer
The important thing to take away from that little story is that Ben was willing to try something new and found out he liked it. During the same cruise he also found out he didn't like Frog Legs, but his older brother, Gavin, discovered that he enjoyed them. Larry took an adventure in eating by trying the Vegetarian and Non-Vegetarian Indian Cuisine they offered and Brian selected Escargot one night. Every meal had something to tempt our taste buds. And yes, some things were enjoyed and others not so much. It really isn't about whether you like it or not, but more importantly, are you willing to try something new? In moving out of your comfort zone, you may be required to try something way out of that zone. Opportunities sometimes present themselves in the most unexpected ways. Maybe you will have the chance to lead a group or do some public speaking. It so happens that public speaking is very high on the list of things that literally scare some people half to death. Or maybe it's performing that is on your list of things you'd like to do but are holding back because of that old demon, Self Doubt and his twin brother, Fraidy Cat. You just have to remember that even the Super Stars all had to start somewhere and they probably were not great when they started, but they all had potential to be great. Now, no one is promising you that you'll be the next mega star known to one and all across the planet but how will you ever know what you have in you until you give it a go?
And finally, one last word about moving from your comfort zone. Is there something in your life that you KNOW you should be doing but are procrastinating about doing? Some of these "really must dos" are secrets, known only to you and perhaps your maker. It is that little nagging voice in your head that is pushing you to take care of something but you are resisting it and struggling to contain it in a corner of your mind. Or maybe it is a dream, a wish and hope that you'll do something that matters---leave your mark upon the world, but you are waiting for the right time, the right place, for the mood to strike you.
Whatever it is that you think you're meant to be doing or longing to do, keep in mind that time is a fleeting thing. Once it trickles down through that hourglass, it won't be going back the other way. When opportunity presents itself to do something different, make another choice, try a new path, think about that hour glass and how stealthily and quickly those sands slip on through the glass. If you're waiting for the perfect time, the best moment, chances are pretty good it is right now. Stretch yourself and reach for the stars: they really are waiting for you and want you to succeed.
Ben cruising to Mexico
Happy Trails,
Marcia
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Rain!! Beautiful Rain!
Who knew that rain could be such a wonderful thing?? Well, I guess the folks in Texas surely know that but for some of the rest of us, rain is pretty much taken for granted. That is until this summer. We have had a long summer with practically no rain. In fact, I think the rain started diminishing in the spring. What we normally expect is lots of rain and thundershowers in the spring and on into the summer. Not so this year. We have had an usually long period without regular rain and we have been in the exceptional drought classification for months. The yard, garden and flowering plants suffered even though we watered with a hose. The grass practically crunched under our feet
---that is until it curled up and turned brown. :-(
Now I know a thing or two about hot and dry weather. I lived two summers when I was a teenager in Ft. Worth, Texas. We moved there early in June and the first morning we stuck our heads out of our hotel room, it was 103 degrees and it was not even noon! Quite a shock to this Mississippi girl who had never seen such hot and dry weather. We made it through that hot, arrid weather and two years later moved back to Mississippi. Since then I have lived along the Gulf Coast for all of my adult life and I don't remember having such a long spell without substantial amounts of rain in this part of the world.
So imagine my surprise and delight to hear the distant roll of thunder and then that most soothing of sounds---rain falling softly outside the window. It rained vigorously and continuously for 30 or 45 minutes and then switched to that muffled sound known to have soporific qualities that can lull you into the deepest and sweetest sleep known to mankind. Resistance is futile as the saying goes, so a nap in my recliner near the back door began in earnest shortly after it was obviously going to last a while. Ah, sweet sleep....it's not just for babies any more!
While I was snooping around looking for evidence that the rain had really happened, I happened to notice a tiny butterfly---black and white. It even had black and white stripped antennae. How cool is that for creativity of design? He was almost invisible but he happened to fly off when I was looking his way and got a glimpse at this tiny little creature. We have so much life all around us and often overlook it in our haste to go on our way. I urge you to take a closer look in your yard and see what kinds of things you see living right under your nose.....so to speak.
One last thing---while I was checking things out I happened to notice that the fence didn't have a lot of Virginia Creeper vines on it. Larry had cleared many of them off several weeks ago in a yard work frenzy of activity. Somehow he had missed a whole bunch of tiny berries of some kind that are on the vine. They were there today, wet and somewhat dried looking---like miniature prunes. On closer inspection I found that they are beginning to wither on the vine and are a leathery blue color. That made me realize that September is nearly gone. Where did it go?? So those little berries are telling us that autumn will soon be upon us. Another season completed and a new one about to unfold before us.
Promise yourself starting today that you'll notice and acknowledge the good things in your life. You are probably far more fortunate than you know and a simple thing like having some rain can be the best thing that happens all day. Remember, if you're looking for the good life (like we are) sometimes you don't have to look far---it is happening right in your own back yard.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
---that is until it curled up and turned brown. :-(
Now I know a thing or two about hot and dry weather. I lived two summers when I was a teenager in Ft. Worth, Texas. We moved there early in June and the first morning we stuck our heads out of our hotel room, it was 103 degrees and it was not even noon! Quite a shock to this Mississippi girl who had never seen such hot and dry weather. We made it through that hot, arrid weather and two years later moved back to Mississippi. Since then I have lived along the Gulf Coast for all of my adult life and I don't remember having such a long spell without substantial amounts of rain in this part of the world.
So imagine my surprise and delight to hear the distant roll of thunder and then that most soothing of sounds---rain falling softly outside the window. It rained vigorously and continuously for 30 or 45 minutes and then switched to that muffled sound known to have soporific qualities that can lull you into the deepest and sweetest sleep known to mankind. Resistance is futile as the saying goes, so a nap in my recliner near the back door began in earnest shortly after it was obviously going to last a while. Ah, sweet sleep....it's not just for babies any more!
After my naperall, I took a quick stroll outside once the rain had subsided and I found heavy drops clinging to the patio chairs and along the table. Then I noticed it was still hanging precariously on every leaf and twig in the yard. It had actually rained long enough that it was not immediately absorbed into the ground like a dry sponge. I know the birdies are going to be really thrilled when they discover that their bird bath is full of nice, cool water with just the right amount of algae to make them happy. 
While I was snooping around looking for evidence that the rain had really happened, I happened to notice a tiny butterfly---black and white. It even had black and white stripped antennae. How cool is that for creativity of design? He was almost invisible but he happened to fly off when I was looking his way and got a glimpse at this tiny little creature. We have so much life all around us and often overlook it in our haste to go on our way. I urge you to take a closer look in your yard and see what kinds of things you see living right under your nose.....so to speak.
One last thing---while I was checking things out I happened to notice that the fence didn't have a lot of Virginia Creeper vines on it. Larry had cleared many of them off several weeks ago in a yard work frenzy of activity. Somehow he had missed a whole bunch of tiny berries of some kind that are on the vine. They were there today, wet and somewhat dried looking---like miniature prunes. On closer inspection I found that they are beginning to wither on the vine and are a leathery blue color. That made me realize that September is nearly gone. Where did it go?? So those little berries are telling us that autumn will soon be upon us. Another season completed and a new one about to unfold before us.
Promise yourself starting today that you'll notice and acknowledge the good things in your life. You are probably far more fortunate than you know and a simple thing like having some rain can be the best thing that happens all day. Remember, if you're looking for the good life (like we are) sometimes you don't have to look far---it is happening right in your own back yard.
Happy Trails,
Marcia
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