Having a Snow Day without the Snow!

 Once upon a time, a Snow Day meant no school and time running around outside in the strange white stuff that appeared in our yard, on the sidewalk, all over the car and every twig and bush in sight.   Today is a Snow Day in our neck of the woods, only we have no snow.   We had a 2 % chance of it last night but the biggest thing was the possibility of ice or sleet.    So the powers that be, in their infinite wisdom, decided to cancel school since school busses and ice do not always get along.    Late yesterday afternoon it was announced that there would be no school today.   Virtual or otherwise.   

In  my childhood, there was nothing that compared to a Snow Day.  It was that reprieve that comes from above to give you unexpected freedom to sleep in (but we never did) or jump up, grab some toast and start planning for all the fun things we would do in the snow.   Choices seemed endless but they always included a snowball fight, building a snow man and occasionally we'd think we could build a snow fort.  We never had quite enough snow for that ambitious undertaking, but we always talked about it, planned it and got a thrill just thinking about it.   

So a Snow Day back then started with a weather report from our beloved weatherman at WLBT whose name was Woodie Assaf.   Woodie was the very first weatherman when that station went on the air back in the 50s and stayed on long enough to be the longest weatherman at one station in history.    He was beloved by so many, but no one loved him more than the kids in Jackson who were going to enjoy a day off from school and if we were really lucky, maybe two days!  

As our Snow Day went on, we played until we were worn to a nub and frozen like a Popsicle.   One year we ran out of gloves and resorted to using Daddy's socks for our hands.   We used up every pair of socks in the drawer and did not earn any brownie points with him for that stunt.   I am guessing we used up our own socks, too, so we must have had some kind of snow man building contest going on!   I recall mama putting a wooden drying rack over the floor furnace to dry out enough socks so we could all have socks the next day.  

After we were frozen to the marrow, we would reluctantly come inside to thaw out.    Invariably, one of us would decide we needed to cook something so out would come the Watkin's Cookbook.   That cookbook was a bit tattered and stained with cake batter, melted butter and who knows what else from years of cooking efforts by our mother and older sister, Charlotte.  Charlotte made all kinds of pie and goodies from that cookbook, including a killer Lemon Meringue Pie.    I am pretty sure the Mincemeat Pie she made every Christmas (for Daddy's benefit) was in that cookbook, too.    But pies and cakes were not what we were intending to make.    Our goal was a warm, sweet, delicious plate of Fudge.  

The recipe called for cocoa, sugar, butter, milk and a bit of salt.   And lots of cooking and stirring.   Cooking and Stirring.   A girl could get impatient from all the cooking and stirring and often did!   So we would do the ball test in a cup of cold water to see if it was ready.   And do it again and again.   The thing is, fudge is a finicky product and if you don't do everything just right, it will never set up.    And we knew that but eagerness to test our product would often get the best of us and we would add that final nub of butter, stir vigorously and then pour it onto a greased plate or platter.   Then the most difficult waiting happened.   It was supposed to harden.   

Supposed to harden being the operative word.   Many times it did.   But once in a while it just sat in a gooey puddle and we stared at it, hoping for a miracle.    One time we actually placed the plate outside in the snow  to see if that would hasten the process.   No luck.   It was still like fudge sauce for a sundae.   Our backdoor neighbor, Tommy, was there to help us eat it straight off the plate with spoons.   And no fudge ever tasted better than the kind we made on a Snow Day. 

And speaking of Tommy, I recall one year before we ever set foot out the door, I was admiring the glistening snow, thinking it looked like a virtual fairy land.   It was like something from another planet since snow was not an every year thing in Jackson, Mississippi.   So I was lost in a fantasy of the perfection of that snow covering every leaf and swig and not a single mark or footprint in our backyard.    Out of the corner of my eye, I spied Tommy trudging up to our backdoor, dragging his feet and totally destroying the perfection.    I am pretty sure I chewed him out for 5 minutes straight.  

Snow Days back in my childhood were special, magical.   My granddaughter, Luci, told me the same thing yesterday when she went our in their backyard to inspect the landscape and discovered the pond in the back was frozen over.   Not enough for skating, of course, but still enough to give it a surreal, magical look.   That was how she saw it --magical.  Some things never change.  When you see things that are new to you or not seen very often, they do take on magical qualities.  They even ran across two deer back there, scampering around in the snow.   Their Snow Day will be one of those things they remember forever.  

And so it is for me.   The memories of Snow Days past evoke happy memories of playing in the snow until exhaustion took over.   Making a pot of fudge that no matter how it turned out we declared to be the best we ever made.   Staring out a window onto a snow covered landscape and a dear childhood friend making his way to our door for some fun.    

The Snow Day of 2021 is not like the Snow Days so long ago.   There is no snow and we certainly are not making fudge or snow angels.    The important thing about this Snow Day is the memories it brought back.    The important thing about those memories is that along with the memory, it brings a flood of feelings of happiness, giddiness at the unexpected day off from school and all the possibilities that were given to us.   I hope I never forget how those days made me feel.   If you have memories like that, I hope you retain them all the days of your life for those are the kind of things we cherish most.   A day that lives on long after the day is gone.   A day to treasure and relive for the rest of our lives.    Happy Snow Day!         

 

Twenty-Twenty, Learning To Fly and Life Lessons

 The year 2020 has turned out to be a doozy by all kinds of standards.   It started off innocent enough but barely were we into the year, we began hearing rumblings of a disease --- a pandemic --- unlike any the world has seen since 1918.   Most of us had some vague notion of what a pandemic is but no real experience or idea what it would mean to us.  We soon found out that our lives were all about to be upended in ways we couldn't imagine.   

So in the 9 months or so since we heard about the virus, Covid 19, a running joke, meme or saying among us whenever bad or unpleasant things happen is to  say, "Well, it IS 2020."   As if just the year alone accounts for any calamity or malady that befalls us.   We forget that our lives are a complex tapestry of events --good and bad-- that accompany us through our lifetimes. 

Sometimes we wrap ourselves in a cocoon of denial that seemingly insulates us against the evils and troubles that can befall us.   In a childlike innocence, we live as if we can avoid life's worst calamities or realities by simply denying they will happen to us.  Permit me to illustrate with a story from my childhood.

When I was about nine or 10, my sister and I and our playmates from across the street would run around in their front yard and make wild leaps from a slight incline onto the pavement of the street.   Our goal was to actually stay aloft long enough to experience the sensation of flying.    We were fully familiar with gravity and had probably even studied a little about it in school by that time.   But there we were, leaping and shouting to one another saying boldly, "Look!  I stayed up a little that time."   It was as if we wished it to be true, it would be true.  But alas, it was never true and only the imagination of our young minds allowed us to believe we could fly -- if only for a tiny fraction of a second.   The reality of gravity never lost its grip and soon brought us right back down to the ground.  

So it has been with Covid-19.   It has brought unimaginable tragedy into the lives of over 200,000 Americans and millions around the world.   Many more will live with its after effects for an unknown number of years.   So it has turned out to be a very bad event in the history of the world.   And that does not even mention the economic and social problems that have come upon us as jobs are lost, schools closed, business closed permanently and families being split apart as loved ones lay dying.    

2020 has not just had disease that has plagued us.    There have been major fires in the west, hurricanes on our coastlines, flooding in the heartland and we have begun to wince and duck whenever the nightly news begins with another round of tragic or sad news that has happened.   It has gotten so bad that we often fail to notice that there are good things that have happened in this same year.    The balance of good to bad is still happening to us but we let the bad blind us to what else is going on.  

I say all of this to remind us that with every loss, with every tragedy we add another layer to our ability to cope with our sometimes chaotic lives.   It's not to say that we must have the bad with the good.  It is to say that we will have the bad as well as the good.    There are life lessons in everything we experience.    When we are young we often get blindsided by the seeming unfairness of things.   We rant and rave against the injustice and may think it is all hopeless.   But one thing I have noticed is  that as we age, we get a little bit of wisdom that teaches us that no one escapes these events.   No matter what your station in life, certain things will come your way.

My grandmothers were both strong resilient ladies who had so much sadness and tragedy in their lives, it is hard to imagine it.   In their later years, I remember them as women who faced illness and death of loved ones with a grace and acceptance that younger ones often cannot achieve.   Their life experiences and lessons built upon one another so that while still sad and grieving, they did not allow it to devastate them to the point of being unable to carry on their own lives.  

This is to say that if there is a point to our lives, it is that we can grown stronger than we imagined and can come out of our cocoon of denial to realize what we go through, what happens to us is part of  being human.   We don't have to like it.   In fact, it is normal to push back against it.   But denying it is  as foolish as denying gravity and thinking we can really fly.   

Life lessons happen all around us.   Sometimes they happen to us.   They are events so powerful they change us and change how to react to the next event that comes along.   I hope all of us can take the good and bad things that have occurred in 2020 and incorporate them into who we are so we're stronger and better able to cope with the next thing that comes along because as surely as we are here witnessing life on this day, another event -- good or bad -- will come along.   We will need coping skills to guide us. If we're looking to a point to life, it is that we're on a journey of learning and growing.   It is up to us whether we incorporate those lessons into our arsenal of skills -- that great tapestry that surrounds us throughout our lives.          

 

Finding Your Beam of Light Across the Water

I've had this thought bouncing around in my noggin' ever since I saw a video on YouTube a few days ago.   An artist I like to follow lives in Ireland (although she is Polish) and she and her family went out for a day trip to a nearby lighthouse.   They climbed the steps in the lighthouse to where they could see out for miles and also see the lighthouse beam circling inside its housing.   The moment I saw that beam making its way around the circle, I thought of how much that beam has meant to mariners for decades.   It was kind of awe inspiring to know it has been a source of guidance and comfort for many years to those out on the seas looking for land and the way home.

A lighthouse serves as both a welcome home and a warning to stay clear.   In some parts of the world there are dangerous rocks and boulders that will destroy a ship or boat if they drift too close.   So lighthouses serve as an important source of information as their beams scatter out across the seas.  

It made me think about how we all look for guidance from time to time or a place to regain calm and equilibrium.   We all seem to have a place or a person or a thing that helps restore that balance that we need in our lives. Sometimes we need to think through a difficult matter to make sure we don't make bad mistakes.  It may be a different source but it serves the same purpose.   Sometimes it helps to remind ourselves what those things are so when we get overwhelmed or too tired to think about it, we just know what we need to do, where we need to go.

For many of my family and friends, their place of guidance and refuge is their faith.  Even a short time spent in prayer or meditation can calm their soul and give them the courage to face difficult times or just to renew their spirit to carry on.   It might happen in a temple, cathedral or simply outdoors under a canopy of stars.   Their faith is their beam of light in the darkness.

I've heard more than a few of my family mention being on the water as a place to renew and restore the weary.  My father was one of those people who loved water whether it was a lake or the Gulf of Mexico.   He spent many happy hours aboard our cabin cruiser that he built with his own two hands.   Fishing for ling, mackerel or other tasty critters (crabs, shrimp and oysters) come to mind.   But he was not averse to taking along a good book to read and just bob around in the water, listening to waves lap gently alongside the boat.   He used that time to think about hard things, to just reflect on life and what it means.  And I can't think of a better use of your time then to think on big questions and topics.   It is one of those things that make us human. We don't always find answers but just the journey, the contemplating is worth doing.  

My daughter in law has a special affinity for the beach.   She loves to dig her toes in the sand and let the salty water wash across her tootsies.  The hot walk across the sand is immediately relieved by the cool, refreshing water from the Gulf.   She has passed that love of all things beach related to her children who are always up for a day at the beach.  

Others I know are mountain people.   Give them a snow capped mountain and they are in heaven.   A cup of hot cocoa or spicy tea, a picture window and they are content for hours.  Those who ski will race you to the lifts to spend time on the slopes.  There are few I know who really enjoy a trek along mountain trails in the spring.   Seeing the wildflowers and luscious green leaves makes even the most tense and jaded person stop and just breathe in the air.  

I enjoy all of the things I've mentioned but one thing I have not mentioned is pursuing art.  By art, I mean any and all creative endeavors.   It might be painting or crafting.  It could be writing, just for fun.   Or maybe music is your thing.   Some listen to their favorite music to relax and unwind.   But for others, it is creating music that takes them to that happy place.  My oldest grandson is a musician.  He has been interested in music since he was a wee tyke.  He plays guitar and piano and as he got older got interested in composing music, as well as the production of music.   If you hear him noodling around with his guitar in his room, you know he is finding his comfort and joy.   He can do that for hours but it is his way of letting go of stress and restoring a sense of well being.

One last thing I'll mention is food.   There is even a term we use called comfort food.    So many celebrations and holidays are intricately entwined with foods that are familiar and comforting.   I remember my Granny Bessie's wonderful grits.    They took at least an hour to cook and were the best warm food to eat on a winter day.    She must have infused them with some extra butter, along with a huge dash of love to make me remember them after all these years.    I have heard some folks say it is not Thanksgiving (or you name the event) without so in so's --- tater salad, cornbread dressing, home grown 'maters.  A friend of mine even wrote an essay on a Tomato Sandwich as a memory from her childhood.   Those are things that bring instant comfort and often a flood of happy memories.

Whatever is your lighthouse, giving a warning or a comfort across the darkness, we all have them.   When times get rough, when things are just too hard to tolerate, remember your places of refuge and relief.   There is no need to suffer or be in anguish when often what you need is a break from the routine.    Take time to breathe, relax, commune with nature or whatever it is that makes your heart sing.    It's all out there waiting on you to take your turn searching for that beam across the water.  

Happy Trails,
Marcia  

 

Little Changes Can Mean Big Improvement

It was just 1/4 inch.  But it needed to go.   My hair reaches a certain point in growth where my bangs are too long, dangle into my eyes (or just above them) and really get on my nerves.   So today after I hopped out of the shower, I combed my wet hair, grabbed some sharp scissors and snipped just a tiny 1/4 inch from the bangs.  Just the bangs.  Everything else was suiting me just fine.  

In that quick moment, one little change made a big difference styling my hair.  After I dried my hair,  my bangs which had been hanging precipitously close to my eyes were back in their lane, behaving quite nicely.    All was right again.  

And that is how I came to think about how little changes can mean a lot in our every day lives.  Sometimes it is a bad habit we need to give up.  Other times it is something we need to add into our lives.   So here are some things to think about as you read this.   How can I do something little but that might make a big difference?

Incorporating change (big or little) takes thought and intention.    You may need to make reminders to yourself or mentally tie a string around your finger.   You can write about your day and whether you were successful in making your change in a daily journal or a bullet journal.    Happy planners are all the rage these days and many people track their progress in that.   Others just as happily take note but never keep track at all.    

Some things you might consider for change in your life might include being more active.    Taking daily walks does not mean you walk on a 10 mile hike.   It could be as simple as a walk around the block.  Or heading to your nearest super store and taking a climate controlled walk through the aisles.  Many communities have lovely parks and trails so not only will you get in walking, but you'll have nice scenery, too.    Get a walking buddy and make it a regular thing.

Maybe you need to destress or disconnect from our too connected world.    Taking a break from all of your devices is not as easy as it sounds, however.    So much of our lives is controlled by our phones, computers and other electronics.      We even have cameras in our door bells, all around our house and I honestly can't think of any place we can go any more without being recorded.    But, with intention, and a plan you can put down the device and do something else.    No, not pick up another device.    Find a place to relax, have a cup of tea, relax and just unwind.   We don't do enough of that and it is a good and necessary thing to do.

Which brings me to meditation.   Some people find  that incorporating a regular time to meditate and reflect brings peace into their busy life.  If you are a person of faith, you probably have a Holy Book that is meaningful to you and can offer passages of comfort or enlightenment for nearly any occasion or issue.    Even those who follow no particular religious path can find plenty to think about or to think UPON.    One does not need to lead the life of a monk to get these benefits.   Just a few minutes at the beginning of your day or at the end may be just what you need to quiet your mind.  

Find a creative outlet.   This can be many different things.    For some it is writing.  Maybe in a journal, a dairy, letters or emails to friends and family.  Maybe you've always wanted to write a novel or write poetry.  Opportunities abound.   Even letters to the editor of your local paper give you an outlet to express your opinion and make your voice heard.  Others find their creativity in art or artistic endeavors.    Painting, sketching or working in clay might be the thing that captures your interest.   I love doing collage with scraps of paper, fiber and ephemera I collect.   I also love taking photographs and have way too many stored on my computer and in cyberspace on Carbonite.  I am presently looking at a project using my own photographs as the ephemera.  My oldest grandson, Gavin, is a musician.   He finds great joy in just taking his guitar, getting in a quiet place and composing or just noodling around on his guitar.  He might write a new song.  Or he might just find joy in playing a piece of music he has known for years.  The main thing is it is his choice and he chooses how to spend that time.  

Maybe cooking is your thing.    For  my mother, nothing meant more to her than to make a big pot of jambalaya for her friends and family.    The smell of the spices she used would fill the house and everyone knew they were in for a real treat.   She put her heart and soul into making it.    I can still remember her smile when she announced that it was done and we should all come get a plate or bowl. Never diminish the effect of making a well loved pot of gumbo or a delicious layer cake that is someone's favorite.    The recipient, of course, loves to get it, but the cook gets something in return.   They get the joy of providing love on a plate.  

I've given you some things to think about that might make a good  place to start making changes in your life. I'm willing to bet you can think of many other little things you can do or NOT do that will have a positive influence on your life and maybe the lives of others, too.    What will be your "quarter inch trim"?  

If you are so inclined, please leave a comment.    I really want to hear your thoughts and ideas!

Happy Trails until next time,
Marcia

Creating Your Legacy

I was chatting online with my niece the other day when the discussion turned to THE BOOK they have been working on for the past few years.   We call it THE BOOK mainly because it has become a rather large focus of their lives as they run through the hoops of having a book published.    It is an ordeal to be sure but one they are happily working on and will probably see a print version of the book some time next year.

I teased Rebecca as we were talking and alluded to all the talk shows they would be on as they make their book tour and of course, all the money that they will see coming in from the book sales.    And Rebecca said back to me, in a more serious tone, that this book (while they are both writing it) is Rich's legacy.    And that made me stop and think about what a legacy is.

If you consult a dictionary, you are apt to get a number of different meanings of the word.    It can be an inheritance, such as a sum of money left to you by your favorite aunt.   Some of you might think of the word applying to someone who gets into a prestigious university based upon the fact that your father or other family member went there.   Anyone remember Kent "Flounder" Dorfman in Animal House?  And then there is the achievement or accomplishment that is the mark you leave on the world to acknowledge your having been here.     It may even be of importance to those who come after you, but does not always have to be of that much significance.   

Now there is no doubt that Rich and Rebecca together have achieved success in many of the ways that this word conveys.    Both have been teachers to students who remember them to this day.  Early in their marriage they made a decision to form a company and have spent almost 25 years building their business traveling all over the world, teaching and studying how to improve teaching primarily in higher education.    And the work they have done has made a difference in academia, one professor at a time, one teaching assistant at a time so that now Rebecca and Rich are known world wide for their expertise in this field.    

So why a book?  Why do this when they already have fame and know they have made a difference in their field?    It comes down to legacy.    Rich was interested in this field before he and Rebecca met and began turning his attention to more effective ways to teach..   He studied what others had to say on the subject, began to gather the data to support the idea that teachers on the university level could use some guidance on how to teach and manage their classes so that students got a better education and were actually learning how to learn and to think.   An effective teacher could teach his or her students how to work with others and be better problem solvers long after they left the academic setting. 

Over the years of doing workshops and continuing the study about this subject, they amassed a huge amount of experience, data and feedback from students to know they had the makings of a book that could be of value to the people in academia who would never attend one of their workshops.    And so they set to work and soon they will reap the reward of seeing their hard work in print.   Rich probably never started his career as an educator with the intention of making his legacy a book about more effective teaching, but in the end, it will represent his life's work, the work he and Rebecca together have done and will pass along to those who come after them.    

Not all who leave a legacy do so in the form of a book or world wide fame.    Some will be like my Mother-in-Law, self named Big Mama,  who has lived a relatively low key life.   She has lived in the same community for most of her life.   She has been a wife, mother, grandmother and worked as a nurse in a hospital setting and as the office nurse for a physician.      Accomplishments were made to be sure.    However, if you were to ask various family members about her, what many would say is that she could make a fabulous "cat head" biscuit.  What you may ask is that?     It is a homemade biscuit made from Martha White Self Rising Flour, Crisco and milk or butter milk.    Why cat head?   Because, according to Big Mama, they are as big as a cat's head!     Many a meal at her house was served with a pan of  biscuits, hot out of the oven, served with butter, sour cream, syrup or jelly.     No finer eating anywhere, I assure you.  Tender, moist and just slightly tangy, I can almost taste them as I write about them.   

About 25 years ago, she decided she wanted to learn how to make quilts.   She saw an article about making a Quilt in a Day.    She didn't have any illusions that she could do it in one day but she set about learning how to do that and began making quilts for family members that are still in use today.   One day as I was making up our bed, I noticed a hand stitched corner of the quilt that said it was the Number 9 Quilt made by Mary Crawford.     And gave the date:  5-8-1989    And there are other quilts in use by various family members who will have a lasting legacy from their Mom or grandmother.   They warm us as we sleep and remind us we are loved by her and are important enough to her that she wanted to leave us with something handmade by her for us.    

 

 

 Another family member who recently passed away, Aunt Shirley Willard, left a different kind of legacy.    Yes, she left things, money and other tangible items to remind us of her but her legacy comes from how she lived her life, even in the last days of a long illness.     Aunt Shirley was a kind and gentle soul, although she was a tough business woman, who ran her own real estate company and achieved success in that world.   Her nature was to see the good in everyone and to come down on the side of fairness and forgiveness.     Even in her dying days she would give words of advice to be kind to one another.     A woman of faith, she believed with all of her heart that the way you live should reflect that faith.   And she did.    If you ask anyone who knew her, they will tell you that her legacy comes from how she treated others and how she inspired people to do better in their daily lives.   

So what will be your legacy?    How will people remember you or speak about you?    The important thing to remember is that a legacy does not have to be about fame or fortune.    It can be the essence of you as a person, the kind of person you were.    It can be for making a killer biscuit and tiny hand made stitches in a blue quilt.   It can be for living an exemplary life that inspired others to be like you.   Or maybe it will be a book that culminates a long career and reflects the things gleaned from that life's work.     

Happy Trails until next time,
Marcia 

Changing Holiday Woes into a Wonderful Holiday!

Well, it seems that the holiday season is upon us.   The stores are filled with all the usual holiday stuff that they have calculated we want and need to make our season "merry and bright".    I've already heard the usual complaint about how commercial this time of year has become and many people vowed to stay away from the infamous Black Friday sales held annually after Thanksgiving.   The thing that we need to remember about that is that if people show up for these staged events, they will continue to occur and the time frame will get pushed back and back until we're having our Labor Day picnics right after we go to Black Friday sales.    Already Halloween is only a tiny blip on the radar and Thanksgiving has nearly gotten trampled in the stampede of shoppers eager to be the first in line at the biggest shopping extravaganza of the year.    

It has been many years since Larry and I participated in the almost mandated shopping orgy that happens every year because at some point in the past we came to our senses and realized we were all spending way too much money (for our financial well-being) and it consumed too much energy and created way too much stress.   We phased out the bloated buying first by drawing names so that each family bought a one for one gift.   For each family member, they bought one gift and received one gift.     As time went on and our inspiration ran out for the adults, we started limiting our gift buying to only the children.   That worked for a few years and then we finally declared that even that was not necessary since it seemed that the kids were soon to get a sleigh full of toys and goodies from old Santa.  And what we really wanted was to spend time with our loved ones over a meal of much loved and carefully made traditional foods.   Hot ham, potato salad, turkey and dressing, Big Mama's Heavenly Hash.    It was simply not a family feast without some of those things.     

It took several years for us to come to that conclusion and thinking about that reminded me of one of our first Christmases as a married couple.   We were young, had very limited resources and weren't very smart when it came to finances.    So in our misguided attempt to buy "nice presents", we headed off to a local loan company.   They were only too happy to loan us the $100 dollars we were there to borrow.    Yes, you read that right!  Only $100 bucks but back then you could budget that much and still manage to get pretty nice gifts for everyone on your list.    Never mind that it took us the whole next year to pay back that measly 100 dollars, we had gifts for the family and that was all that mattered at the time.    

Soon enough we quit going to loan companies but that was after we discovered Spiegel Catalog.    What a Christmas we had that year!    I think we bought a small stereo for ourselves and "nice" gifts for the rest of the family.    Again, it took a long time to pay off those purchases.    But sometimes we're slow learners when it comes to finances.    Eventually, we caught on and realized we were not helping ourselves when it came to how we spent our money.    Plus, it started to dawn on us that we were being manipulated by the stores, advertising on TV and just peer pressure because everyone else did the same thing we did.    We went in debt every year --- it was the expected thing --- in order to buy gifts for people who were going in debt to buy things for US!    It made no sense whatsoever, but since everyone else was doing it and it seemed like we had no choice, we continued on that path for far too long.   

Now if anyone thinks I am being a Scrooge here and that I'm anti-gift giving, that is far from what I am saying.    My point is that we all need to take a step back and look at what we're doing and maybe more importantly, what is being done TO US.     Let's face it, we (and our children/grandchildren) are bombarded with advertisements that are anything but subtle.     The industry has gotten it down to a fine art to create buzz for the must have Toy of the Year.    They tell us we deserve to reward ourselves.    Listen to the messages that are aimed squarely at our emotions and deeply held wishes/wants and pretty soon, you are agreeing with the guy on TV who says you should have a luxury car (with a big red bow on it!!) or a trip to the islands while your friends shiver back at home. Your kids really want and NEED that Xbox system that is going to make their holiday the biggest and best ever.  And they wrap it all up with talk of "magic of the season" and other heart tugging sentiments.    Don't fool yourself.   They have studied us forty ways to Sunday and they know every buzz word, every technique and manipulative image to make us join the herd, head to the mall or Best Buy and Wal- Mart or flip open your laptop and go straight to Amazon for the deal of the day.  The truth is that for many (most) retailers if they don't meet or exceed huge sales goals during the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, they will not reach their profit goals for the entire year!  So there is a lot of pressure from them to make us buy, buy, buy.  

If all of this makes you uncomfortable or even angry, it's time to take stock of what you want for this holiday season.    It's time to think about what the season means to you and the truth is that it usually is not one thing for most of us.   Yes, it's a high, holy religious time of the year for some religions.    But it has been overtaken by the secular, commercial side of the season, too.     So we have a blended event that is part religious, part secular and a whole lot of buying and feasting.     Many of us have favorite foods and treats that we only have one time in the year.     The decorations that we put in and on our homes and yards only are displayed during this season.   Obviously, it is an important time of the year to many people for a variety of reasons.     

It should be a happy, joyous time of the year, no matter what your reasons for participating in the celebration.    If it's not, it's time to rethink what you're doing and not just go on automatic pilot doing the same things, the same way for the same dumb reasons.   What makes you stressed out?   Is it the overspending or the debt you'll be facing in January?    Is it trying to do too much and not enjoying any of it a whole lot?     Are you festooning your home from top to bottom but there is no joy in it for you?     Are you spending too much time standing at a hot stove, cooking a meal that is expensive, not appreciated and makes your back and feet hurt?    

I urge you, while there is still time to make a change,  to think about what the season means to you.   It is a complicated holiday for many of us.    It brings back many memories of holidays past.    Some of those will be happy and pleasant.   For others, however, it may remind them of family strife and squabbles.      You are the only one who knows what you want from this time of the year.    Change to new traditions away from what you've always done is not easy and may have to come in stages.    Just like it took us a while to realize we were spending too much money and from the wrong sources, it may take you a while to come up with a plan to make the holidays less stressful and more meaningful.   And remember a lot of other people struggle with this every year so you are not alone in trying to get control of things and make them more to your liking.   A simple online search for ideas to simplify your holidays will produce more good articles on getting to your goal without turning into Scrooge or abandoning all the traditions you enjoy.    The key is to figure out which ones you enjoy and which ones you do out of habit or that you've been manipulated into doing year after year.  

Our wish for all who read this blog post is that  you have a wonderful holiday season filled with love, laughter, light and joy.    We hope you'll stop and make an assessment of what is meaningful to you and your family and then make a promise to yourself that you will start weeding out things that don't add to your enjoyment.    Trade out things that are too much trouble for what they are worth for things that you actually like and look forward to doing.   Start now and you can make this year's celebrations better for you and your loved ones.  If you do this each year, you'll tweak what you include in your traditions into something that fits your reasons for celebrating the holidays!    

Happy Holidays and Joyous Wishes for a Healthy and Prosperous New Year!

Happy Trails,
Marcia

What Kind of Cook Are You?

So I was preparing some pork chops for the Crock Pot this morning and found myself grabbing spices and herbs, along with some other magic potions to go on the chops as they browned.    I was sort of mindlessly flinging things in the skillet when it occurred to me that I was acting with reckless abandon, not unlike a Mad Scientist in his laboratory.  (Pronounced like a good British Mad Scientist would say it:   La-BORE-A-tory)  I almost laughed out loud at the thought that my cooking qualified me as a Mad Scientist.   But I guess in a way it's true.

As we're concocting things in our kitchens, we are either following closely along with Betty Crocker (or another of our cookbook gurus) as our guide and mentor or we go off on our own path, pulling things from our pantries, refrigerators and our vast repertoire of experiences in the  culinary arts.    I find that most of the time I am in the second category and mainly use recipes as inspiration more than a rigid game plan to follow.    I know, I know --- that can be dangerous, especially in the baking game.    If you don't get those proportions and levels exactly like the "formula" calls for them to be, you can end up with a pretty dreadful confection that fails to rise like it should or is flat and tasteless!!    So I don't often go off on my own tangent for baking.   However, I have been known to make Banana Bread with nary a look at a recipe, just relying heavily on memory and what I knew had to go in to make it good.    And frankly, most of the time, it has worked out.   

Most of the people I know give credit (or blame) for their cooking skills to a significant person in their life.    Maybe it was their Mom or a Grandmother who took the time to let them sidle up by them while they were cooking to observe or even help out.    I remember taking an interest in cooking when I was a pre-teen and then in my teenage years.   My sister, Ginny, and I would make platters of homemade fudge, mashed potatoes or a steaming pot of grits to eat while we watched movies.    My Mom was a pretty good cook, too, and we watched and observed what she did in the kitchen.    

My recollection is that my older sister, Charlotte, was a good cook who pretty much taught herself how to cook.   She used cook books and made a lot of what we call "comfort food" today.    Her Sunday Pot Roast with mashed potatoes and green beans were standard fare at her house.    Fried chicken with rice and gravy showed up on the table regularly, too.   It was almost always good, filling and tasty.     

Some people I know have told me that their Moms never (and I do mean NEVER) allowed them in the kitchen.    I am not sure why, but their experience in the kitchen was extremely limited growing up and so what they learned came from their own curiosity and interest in learning the skill.    I do believe those early experiences in the kitchen do more or less set the tone for what kind of adventures you'll have in the kitchen.   If you start learning early in your life how to hold a knife or what herbs and spices can do for your food, I think you tend to be more adventurous and willing to spend a lot of time in the kitchen honing those skills.     If you are discouraged from  having those experiences when you're young, it may lead you in the opposite direction so that cooking is not high on your priorities.   

I have to say that watching many of the cooking shows on The Food Network has filled in a lot of gaps for me.    What I didn't learn from my mother or observed in other cooks or read in a cookbook, I found out by watching Chopped or Iron Chef.      The interesting thing about Chopped is that the contestants are compelled to improvise with the odd set of ingredients that they are required to use in order to win.    So they may be given some really oddball ingredients that seemingly have no relation to each other than a frog does to a horse.    And yet, they are expected to utilize each of the items and come up with a cohesive, tasty dish.    

What I have learned is that you have to think of items in terms of what flavor (or texture) it imparts.    So if you are given some kind of cracker or cookie, you might end up grinding it up and using it to bread a pork chop.    It sounds off the wall but sometimes a small compensation such as adding in another spice or herb will offset the sweetness and it all works out fine.   You have to stretch your imagination to figure out how to use what you're given.     

I have seen chefs melt the chocolate off of a chocolate candy and chop up the peanut inside to sprinkle over the top of a dish.   Sometimes, the chef will have to understand the properties of an ingredient and what it will do once it is combined with another.     It takes courage, knowledge, some experience and yes, a bit of the Mad Scientist to figure out how to use the ingredients and end up with a good dish and not a royal mess.     

One other thought on this subject is that I am always looking for recipes to try.    I look mainly on Pinterest but I still like looking in cook books, even after years of looking at them.     I have many in my collection and inherited a few from my Mom.    What I have realized about myself is that often when I am in the midst of cooking (even by a recipe) is that it will strike me that the dish would taste better if I added something or substituted another ingredient for the one the recipe calls for.    I have no qualms about doing that and make no criticism of the original recipe.    Some people find a recipe on line, completely revamp it, putting things in that weren't called for or substituting with wild abandon and then go back to the site and slam the recipe, especially if it does not turn out right.    I do not do that and honestly, get annoyed with those who do.    If you totally change the recipe, you didn't cook the dish you thought you did!    But as I said, I am completely comfortable with making additions or substitutions as the mood strikes me.   And I take blame OR credit for the way the dish turns out.   

Anyhow, just out of curiosity, how do you think of yourself, dear reader?    Are you a recipe follower, and not prone to deviate from the proscribed way to make the dish?    Or are you more in the Mad Scientist category using recipes as just a jumping off point or coming up with ideas on your own or from things you see at the grocery store?     Then again, maybe you're like some people I know who prefer to "make reservations" for dinner!    Do tell.    Which kind are you?    

Happy Trails and Happy Thanksgiving!
Marcia